Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Why Ronnie Never Slept Around

Well, I should think the answer is obvious! I never let myself get fat! We were Hollywood people, and so self-discipline was second nature to us. There was an unspoken agreement -- I didn't turn into a blimp like my dear friend Debbie Reynolds, and he didn't wander sexually. Sure, this meant that I've lived hungry for more than half my life, but Ronnie was worth every minute of it! I bet you Debbie would trade all those lonely nights snuggled up with a pint of Hagen Daz for the experience of having been first lady for the most stunningly attractive President this country has ever had!

I wish I could find the wife of this Governor Sanders and tell her what Billie Holiday once told me: "Lose some weight! You're a white woman, for God's sakes!"

(ps: look how BIG Debbie is!!!)

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