Sunday, July 26, 2009

Summer Barbecue with All My Sister Friends!

Yikes! I haven't posted in quite a while. That's what happens in the summer, with all the attendant social commitments, mostly barbecues, most of them requiring you to get on a private jet to Lake Tahoe.

Now, I'm not a huge flying fan. Haven't been one since I was on my dear friend John Travolta's private jet and my dear friend Elizabeth Taylor got stuck in the doorway to the restroom. John heroically pried her out of the door frame, and she went flying across the cabin, hit the wall, and caused the jet to drop two hundred feet in a rush that was not unlike what Barbara Bush must have felt like the moment she realized poor George wouldn't win a second term.

Nonetheless, I've enjoyed the parties, especially the one I just returned from held by my dear friend Martina Navratilova. Every year, Martina throws a for-girls-only cookout/spa weekend in a secret location somewhere in the Bay Area. And I mean secret! She makes all of us girls meet at the airport, where we are greeted and shown on board a bus without windows -- very comfortably outfitted, but I always get a little stomach-upset because I can't see where we're going. It takes us to a private estate I don't know where. But boy, it's worth it! We all sit around in bathrobes laughing and chatting and eating spinach omelets, and then we go horseback riding! And the cast of characters is just wonderfully odd and fun -- Rosie O'Donnell, Billie Jean King, Ellen DeGeneres. . . . She used to bring that peculiar young woman, Anne Heche, but then the two of them had a falling out over something -- if I had to guess, I would guess it was over a man -- it always is! Anyway, we all chose Ellen over Anne. But then, didn't everyone?

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Don't Worry About Me!

Don't worry, I'm ok! I've just been spending a lot of time over at Jennifer Aniston's house, and haven't been updating because she doesn't have the internet -- something about sunspots. Jen's been going through a tough time ever since Brad left her for that minx, Angelina Jolie (with whom I am dear friends).

Hang in there, Jen!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Ronnie Did It With Style!

Today, with my head in the clear after recovering from yesterday's hangover (my, how we think we leave such childish things behind with every succeeding decade, and how wrong we are!), I read this wonderful article. It's about all the colorful characters running for California governor. Several times, it mentions that so many people think California is "ungovernable."

Well, I'll tell you what. Ronnie governed the heck out of this state! By the time we left California, everyone here was just thrilled with the job that Ronnie did. I know my Hollywood friends today still talk about what a wonderful Governor Ronnie was. Why, my dear friend Isaac Hayes used to say, before he died, "Nancy, your Ronnie was the best Governor I ever saw." And my dear friend Redd Foxx, before he died, used to say, "Nancy, you know who knew how to govern? Ronnie knew how to govern. He was just a great governor." And then my dear friend Esther Rolle of television's Good Times once said to me, "Nancy, honey -- Ronnie was the best governor." That was before she died.

If I had to guess who is going to be the next Governor based on the article, I would go with Gavin Newsom. Let's be honest -- sex appeal can be pretty useful in politics! Thank heavens Ronnie was so competent -- it would be terrifying if someone with so much sex appeal didn't have the competence to back it up! (arah-SA alin-PA!!!!!)